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Passing the piss test?

piss test pee

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#1 Eddie McPot

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Posted 02 April 2014 - 03:07 AM

I thought it would be nice to have a thread on how to pass the dreaded pee test. I am no expert as I have failed 3 so far in the last 5 years.

 

Test 1: I have a relative that suggested Sonnes7 and no weed for a month would work. I didn't realize that I would be subjected to strenuous tests of my physical abilities before I pissed. I had to jog 2 miles on the treadmill and then shovel 50 scoops of gravel into a container 4 feet up. Wore my ass out. Then took hair and piss. 2 days later...This is Dr. Fuckstick you had marijuana in your urine I will have to report this to the employer.

I have since learned by talking to a few heavy tokers who get tested by court order and they say 100-120 days to get clean piss.

FUCK! Use someone elses piss.

 

Test 2: Drove to another city with a friend who was clean. He peed in the container I had and I used a toe warmer chem pack to keep the temp up. I had a pair of underwear I sewed a pocket in to hold the container. So the little clinic was packed and we waited inside. We waited to 45 minutes till I got to go pee. So in between my friend walks outside for a bit and sits in the car, I go out for a cig. I noticed some dude scoping us out so my friend asks him whats up mother fucker? He don't say shit and walks inside. Next thing I know is that the toothless hag at the desk said we can't verify this is YOUR urine so we will have to do an observed test.

FUCK! Never take a buddy with you.

 

Test 3: Drove to local rip off workmans comp center to test for a job. Had everything good 50ml of clean piss at right temp. I went to dump the piss in the cup and there wasn't enough so I pissed a little in to get to the mark on the cup. MISTAKE! Same Dr. Fuckstick called me said I showed to be a heavy smoker.

FUCK! NEVER use your own piss!

 

Test 4: Pending will let you know. Using a 60ml tube with thermometer, pocket underwear, toe warmer pack and verified clean piss.


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#2 auldone

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Posted 02 April 2014 - 03:53 AM

I have used a few different fake piss kits and passed every time...

 

Have failed 1 test with the shit you drink then drink a shit ton of water after. When I pissed for that test, my piss prolly could have glowed in the dark...

 

Hope you pass...


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#3 Oaksterdam420raider

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Posted 02 April 2014 - 04:54 AM

I have had good results with Vales. It's a one hour drink then drink 2 of the bottle full of water. Pee twice and your clean for a few hours. Back when my wife was a heavy smoker she took it threw it up and still passed the test. The one time I didn't use that it was a tommy chong brand and I failed!! Good luck
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#4 Delta 9

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Posted 02 April 2014 - 09:03 AM

Good luck dude, I reckon I'd be piss testing positive for ages before it was out of my system.

 

Its bullshit. Just cos you have pot in your system doesn't mean you are stoned at work so why should your employer care what you do in your own free time if it doesn't hurt others.

 

I'm never stoned at work but I'd always test positive, it's stupid. I'd be a much greater threat to society without any THC in my system :)


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#5 mattso101

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Posted 02 April 2014 - 11:30 AM

Man that sucks you even have to do that. They tried to do urine testing on the oil sands workers up here in Canada. Lawyers took it to court and it was decided it was against personal privacy and human rights
I've never heard of anyone doing a piss test for a job in Canada
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#6 Eddie McPot

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Posted 16 April 2014 - 09:47 PM

I still haven't found a job to pee for yet. I'll keep ya posted.


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#7 twistyman

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Posted 16 April 2014 - 10:41 PM

I watched an interview with an ex olympian and he said they used to soak fingertips in javex, and when they pissed they'd pee on tips...

said it always worked.

 

I never had a test in my life, nor do I know anyone here that has..


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#8 twistyman

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Posted 16 April 2014 - 10:43 PM

Man that sucks you even have to do that. They tried to do urine testing on the oil sands workers up here in Canada. Lawyers took it to court and it was decided it was against personal privacy and human rights
I've never heard of anyone doing a piss test for a job in Canada

you google robert piche..he glided an out of fuel airbus to the azores ..captain for air transat..

 

big hero..came out during it all that he'd been convicted on drug charges...

he's still a pilot..

Piché grew up in Quebec's remote Gaspé Peninsula and learned to fly as a teenager. In 1973 he graduated college in Chicoutimi.

Airline Career

After graduation he worked for regional airlines until he was laid off by Quebecair. After being laid off, he worked odd jobs which consisted of smuggling marijuana to the United States by plane.[1]


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#9 mb120

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Posted 17 April 2014 - 03:03 PM

Magnum Synthetic urine has worked for Bakken people I know. 2 confirmed passes
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#10 OD(biter)

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Posted 27 April 2014 - 08:16 PM

Drink 4 litres of water, then take another litre and add 20 grams of creatine mono hydrate to it and drink, your sample will be diluted but as the testing machine uses the bodies natural creatine level as a reference for this, it fools it everytime!!! B)

 

This is why creatine is now banned in jails in this country!!! ;)


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#11 twistyman

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Posted 27 April 2014 - 08:31 PM

find your ass attached to a dialysis machine.....lol


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#12 OD(biter)

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Posted 27 April 2014 - 11:38 PM

It takes a lot more than 5 litres of water to flush your system completely of salts, vits and minerals twisty!!! ;), if that's a concern just take a multi-vit and wash it down with a saline solution after uve done the test!!! ;)

 

For the record, I passed 39 piss tests using this technique and it did me no harm!!! ;)


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#13 Eddie McPot

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Posted 11 June 2014 - 01:02 AM

I passed this one. Got the job. Just entry pee and no randoms. I used a friends piss in a small plastic container, took 60ml instead of the normal 50ml because the bitch will trip you up and mark the fill line higher. Tempts you to add your own piss to make it up, DONT DO IT.  Take plenty of clean piss. I used the "toe warmers" heat packs, the hot hands heat packs get too hot and burn your balls and taint. The toe warmers keep the piss temp just right. That's another thing the cunt checks is temperature. I sewed a pocket inside a pair of briefs to hold the vial of piss with the toe warmer around it. You get 3 minutes of time to piss. Make it easy to get the vial in and out so they don't hear you fumbling around. I practiced my routine till I got it right. Then applied for a kick ass job. If you have a DOT test your fucked. They watch the piss come out of your Johnson to make sure and they know what a wizzinator is. Good luck. Keep the tips coming and FUCK the MAN!


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#14 mactheman

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Posted 11 June 2014 - 11:52 AM

good on ya mate...great to see you go the job as well.......peace,mac.


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#15 twistyman

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Posted 11 June 2014 - 12:16 PM

I passed this one. Got the job. Just entry pee and no randoms. I used a friends piss in a small plastic container, took 60ml instead of the normal 50ml because the bitch will trip you up and mark the fill line higher. Tempts you to add your own piss to make it up, DONT DO IT.  Take plenty of clean piss. I used the "toe warmers" heat packs, the hot hands heat packs get too hot and burn your balls and taint. The toe warmers keep the piss temp just right. That's another thing the cunt checks is temperature. I sewed a pocket inside a pair of briefs to hold the vial of piss with the toe warmer around it. You get 3 minutes of time to piss. Make it easy to get the vial in and out so they don't hear you fumbling around. I practiced my routine till I got it right. Then applied for a kick ass job. If you have a DOT test your fucked. They watch the piss come out of your Johnson to make sure and they know what a wizzinator is. Good luck. Keep the tips coming and FUCK the MAN!

congrats man......so happy for you..

 

 

BUT...I'm still gobsmacked at the thought of having to take test..

 

shit back in the 70-80 when I worked you'd have empty factories if they tested people...even law bidding people had the sleepy pills du jour like seconal, sodium barbital and that shit left you groggy the whole next AM....

 

what about the people working next to you that have chugged 3-10 energy drinks..
talk about jumpy fucks...lol


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#16 idjit

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Posted 11 June 2014 - 12:46 PM

Burnt taint is a def no go............congrats Eddie.
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#17 mattso101

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Posted 12 June 2014 - 12:09 AM

Awesome Eddie. Congrats man!!
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#18 MrsM

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Posted 12 June 2014 - 04:27 AM

Am Glad ya got it all sorted out Mr. Eddie...

 

not that I wasent trying to help ya

 

{{cuz.... I was}}

Believe it or not

I was out hiering small children for you mr eddie}}

peetests.jpg

supose i should maybe

let them go home now...


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#19 twistyman

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Posted 12 June 2014 - 10:46 AM

hey,....!!!!

 

 

wheres my catheter....??????


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#20 Eddie McPot

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Posted 14 June 2014 - 12:19 AM

They pee test where I work just the one time for insurance. They only test u again if you fuck up something. Several fellow employees are tokers LOL.


Edited by Eddie McPot, 14 June 2014 - 12:20 AM.

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